FCAT

It's that time of year again. In Florida, this time of year is very stressful for teachers. We are about to embark on the mother of all tests...the FCAT. That stands for "Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test". (That is not what teachers call it...) It is based on this test that the state determines the quality our of education programs. It is based on this ONE test, that they determine how well we do as teachers. Based on this ONE test, they assign a "grade" to each school so everyone in the state will know if their child is attending an "A" school or "F" school (or some other letter designation in between). Now anyone who knows anything about education will tell you to NEVER base a child's ability on ONE test score. However, when it comes to giving schools money, programs, supplies, materials, TEACHERS, it all hinges on how well your students score on this ONE test.

Needless to say, the pressure on teachers to make sure your students have learned EVERYTHING there is to know about Math, Science, Writing, and Reading is overwhelming! We are often told "do this" on Monday, only to find out on Wednesday that we should be "doing that" instead. And by Friday, "the other thing" is a much better idea, so let's just drop everything else and try this new way. This goes on throughout the entire year. From the moment we are out of the gate on the first day of school, until FCAT, we are jumping through hoops!

We do what we can but undoubtedly, some of this pressure will trickle down to the students. Some will be so nervous about the test that they almost make themselves sick about it. Others could care less and will most likely end up "Christmas treeing" their answers sheets giving little or no thought to their answer choices. And no matter how many times teachers remind them to check their work, many are still done in 20-30 minutes with an 80 minute test. And, in most cases, they will swear up and down that they have checked their work THREE TIMES!

And parents will feel some of the pressure. They know their child will not do so well on the test so they begin to invent reasons for them not to take it or to have accommodations made available to them. One child brought in a perscription form (supposedly from her doctor, but I could read every meticulously written letter...so how likely is it that a doctor wrote that?) that stated this child should not be timed on the test. Really? A medical perscription? Hmmmm..

Another child has "fainting" sickness. He faints without warning. When this happens, don't touch his neck, but start plowing him full of Lays potato chips. Ummm, he's unconscious. How do I get him to eat the chips? Do I just open his mouth and jam the chips in hoping he doesn't choke? What if we only have Tom's potato chips? Will these have the same desired results as Lays? Would a salt lick help prevent fainting from happening? He could answer a question, take a lick, and repeat as necessary.

"Don't give them a new pencil they've never seen before the day of the test. The shock of something new could disturb their thought patterns and they will fail the test. Don't wear something new you've never worn before. If they haven't seen you in it before, it could be too much of a distraction."

I know, you're laughing. And quite frankly, we teachers do the same. You have to otherwise they'd be coming for us with little white jackets and taking us to a little padded cell. And although solitary confinement might sound good right about now, I have to wonder if I'd be able to pass the tests that they will administer while I'm in that cell? And if I don't, will I have to go through electroshock until I get it right? What if I faint? Who will shove potato chips in my mouth?